This and That

Today my mom would have been 57.

This is one of my last "happier" photos with her.

When we first learned her cancer was back.

When we thought she'd beat it like she had a couple years before.

It was less than 3 months later we were told the chemo had been ineffective,

and there was nothing else that could be done.

A month later my mom was gone.

That was just over 2 years ago.

I had planned to do something today.

Something to remember mom...

but I spent most of today a bit numb.

The other day, I was talking to one of my girlfriends and we agreed it almost gets worse with time.

The longer you go without them, the more real it becomes...

and you realize they're really not coming back...ever.

What I've learned in these 2 years is that the grief process isn't as simple as you want it to be...

It's not a checklist.

It can feel like you're going in circles

and that's okay.

I learned it's normal.

I really was beginning to think something was wrong with me because I wasn't "over it".

And now I realize I never will be.

She was my mom.

I know she's in better place.

She's happy.

And that helps.

But I still miss her.

Hug your loved ones.

Do your best not to take it all for granted.

xo