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Christmas time is here!

I wanted to let everyone know I'm home safe.

I've been home now for over a week.

and somehow I feel like I haven't accomplished much.

My house is barely decorated.

We just got our tree yesterday.

It's still waiting for decorations.

The kids have been surprisingly patient.

Even my 4 year old who wants the house to look like the North Pole.

We do have our Christmas lights up.

So glad we started putting those up.

The kids love them and they make me smile.

I've been having a hard time finding my Christmas Spirit. It seems to come and go lately.

The trip itself was exhausting in every way.

My cousin and I flew all day.

The cheapest way seemed to be the most nonsensical.

Too me anyways. Shouldn't the most direct way be the cheapest?

The funeral was beautiful.

I don't think I've cried so much since my mom's memorial.

I think I was crying more for my mom though.

It was really hard being with her family without her.

I know they were glad that I was there,

but I think we were all constantly reminded that she wasn't.

I am so glad I went though. It wasn't all tears. There was lots of smiling and laughing too.

And comfort.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.

xo

image from flickr

packing my bags

On Monday, I found out my Grandpa (my mom's dad) passed away.

It's horrible timing for our family,

not that there's ever really a "good" time...

We know he's in a better place.

Pain free...happy...with Jesus, my Grandma and my mom.

But there's been a lot of "why now?"

After a lot of debate,

I decided I would fly to Kauai next week for his funeral.

It was a really hard decision for me...

but since my mom obviously won't be there (at least not physically)

I felt like someone should represent our family.

And I was the only one who seemed to be able to go.

It's been one of the hardest decisions I've had to make since my mom passed.

I wanted to support family

but I haven't seen my husband for almost 2 weeks,

and I'll miss my kids

My husband gets back Sunday night.

I fly out early Monday morning.

I will miss my 4 year olds cute little "Thanksgiving Feast" at preschool.

I know it's such a small little thing, but I am bummed.

I fly home on Thanksgiving and get home early Friday morning.

Friday we'll host a little "Thanksgiving" dinner.

I have never made a turkey.

I am not known for my housekeeping skills.

I am really trying not to get overwhelmed

by everything that's going on.

I'm hanging in there.

I know God is good

and He has a plan

even if I have no clue what it is.

Happy weekend!

xo

image

Did I miss Thanksgiving?

I don't decorate big for Thanksgiving...

unless pumpkins count...

and a little turkey I picked up from JoAnn's one year.

Is it really already time to think Christmas?

I love decorating for Christmas.

I love how my kids' eyes light up.

But how can it already be right around the corner!

Am I the only one who feels like Christmas comes sooner every year?

I'm excited and exhausted just thinking about it. :)

xo

pics 1,2,4 from pottery barn, pic 3 from ballard designs

One week down

here

Yay for Friday!

We're almost half way now.

I'm feeling a lot better today.

Being sick is such a drag.

It's so hard to take care of kids when you're not feeling at least 75%.

I have all these things to do in my head.

Hopefully I'll finally have the energy to get some done!

I think while hubby's away I'm going to try to make a linen pinboard

like PB's up there.

I love the look of it.

Ok this is embarassing...

Today I finally made it to one of my favorite stores.

Yes I brought all the kids. They love that. ;)

I had to pick up these yummy slippers.

here

My feet are thanking me as we speak.

Any how I bumped into my fave sales girls

and she told me she'd just been thinking about calling me.

She hadn't seen me for awhile and was wondering if I was okay!

I think it's been 8 days since the last time I'd been in.

lol.

Okay there may be some retail issues going on.

Maybe.

My hubs being away is so much harder this go round.

I'm sure not feeling well has played a part

but I am really missing my mom...

just hanging out with her while the kids run wild...

I'm getting kind of worried I'll only be able to speak "4 year old"

by the time my husband gets back...

and I'm not even very good at it.

Have wonderful weekends!

xo

p.s. Sorry I'm all over the place! That's how my brains working these days. :)

Time flies

This weekend, this sweet baby girl turned 8!

I can hardly believe it.

I am the mom of an 8 year old!

On Saturday we celebrated with a bowling party.

She had a blast!

I feel like I need to send an apology with the thank you cards.

It was a rough day.

It's been a rough weekend.

I've been fighting off a cold...

so I've been grumpy...

and not a very good hostess...

I hope the girls didn't notice!

(my husband for sure noticed)

Thank goodness one of my besties stayed and helped out.

Is it bad that I'm glad it's over?

That middle picture in the collage is my favorite!

After some debate we got Jolia an American Girl for her birthday.

(We chose one of the "Just Like You" dolls)

I thought she was going to hyperventilate!

I've never seen her so excited for anything.

It made it so worth it.

Did I mention that instead of "Happy Birthday Jolia"

the cake place put "Happy Birthday Nicky"?

Maybe that added to my grumpiness.

I should have taken a picture of it.

Oh and I made that banner with this kit here.

And the paper flower and the little bday girl were made with goodies from here.

Her stuff is so cute. I'm going to be using more of it with the kids.

Today is Day 1 without my husband.

Pray for us, we are off to a rocky start!

It must be Monday!

xo

Soul Music

Tuesday, Steven Curtis Chapman's new CD,

"Beauty Will Rise" came out.

I haven't listened to all the songs yet,

but what I have has really touched me.

I can't imagine the pain of their loss

(if you're unfamiliar with their story click here)

There is so much truth in his music,

pain, hope and faith.

It's good.

On a lighter note,

I got to go shopping yesterday.

And I bought these boots...

Are you laughing at me?

It's okay, my hubby laughed when he saw them...

especially when I tried them on.

He did say, "If you're happy than I'm happy" with a really big grin on his face.

I like them. They make me smile.

Not my usual style but hey...

I'm living a little.

Happy Thursday!

xo

p.s. Thank you for all the kind comments.

I really appreciated every single one of them.

Conflicted

This is my favorite time of year...

It's busy and stressful but filled with all the things I love...

family

friends

food :)

I love the time we spend together.

The happiness, the peace, the joy

...being with people who really know you

and love you anyway

My oldest turns 8 this weekend.

Which means a party...

I was so excited, brimming with ideas and now I'm just tired...

heavy...

I have 2 more birthdays to figure out before the end of the year...

I'm not sure what we're doing for Thanksgiving or Christmas...

I haven't even started a Christmas list...

I still need order a cake and finish the details of my oldest's bday party this weekend.

Add to that my hubby's preparing to go out of town.

Once a year he goes on a mission trip to Uruguay with our church.

He loves it. We're used to it.

But now this time year holds a lot of painful memories.

It was this time last year...a day or two after hubby had left

my mom was told nothing more could be done...

Thanksgiving is the last time I knew for sure

my mom recognized who I was...

It was two days after our youngest's 2nd birthday,

the morning after our middle two sang in their preschool

Christmas program...

the phone's ring woke us

and I knew she was gone...

Now I have almost a year of memories without

one of the most important people in my life...

and now my favorite time of year feels like it's also going to be the saddest...

xo

pics 1 & 3 from martha

pic 2 from country living (I think)